A Shore Far From Any Prison

by Clara Engel

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about

Five new songs, home recorded on a zoom H5 recorder that I rented for two weeks in July of 2018.

Imagine you are lying at the bottom of the ocean looking up at the stars.

Someone once wrote to me and described my music as "ecstatic despair," and I think that fits this collection of songs particularly well.

"That feeling of nearness to the shapeless ghost, Ambiguity, is what I want most, what I want to put inside a book, what I want the reader to sense. And because it is at once a thing and a no-thing, the reader will have to find it, not only in what I have written, but also in what I have not written." - Siri Hustvedt "Search for a Definition"


This album is dedicated to Nicholas Kenji Field.


"L’écho de la guitare, prêt à s’échapper, se raccroche à l’existence dans le timbre confident et poignant de Clara Engel, dans cette expression si particulière et qui n’appartient qu’à elle. La couleur grise, baignant le monde imaginaire où elle nous convie, paraît briller et resplendir en nous, lente et charnelle. Les secondes se taisent et dessinent, dans les décombres d’un planétarium qui pourrait être notre âme, la berceuse d’une rencontre éphémère mais à l’importance capitale. Un chant du désespoir et de la consolation, véritable catharsis de nos instants d’isolement et de tristesse." - Abstrakt Underground

"When the lights fade and the passage of time has takes its toll, ‘Abandoned Planetarium’ becomes a requiem for lost wonders and
a lament of modern structural and metaphysical dissolution." - Ride the Tempo

credits

released October 1, 2018

All songs written, performed, and mixed by Clara Engel
Mastered by Mitchell Girio at the Slow Cooker
Cover photograph taken by Ilyse Krivel
"It Becomes You To Vanish" features a short sample of "Mille Cherubini in coro" by Franz Schubert, as performed by Beniamino Gigli in 1935.

A big thank you to patrons: David Buchta, Konstantinos Diamantis, Chris D'Iorio, Andrew Erlich, Sophia Harman-Heath, Nancy Heath, Larry Lamb, Maik Martin, Neil Sanders, Simona Turini. I appreciate your contributions so much -- thank you for helping me to keep on making music and art.

If you are interested in becoming a patron, please visit: www.patreon.com/user?u=489459

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about

Clara Engel Toronto, Ontario

Minimalist holy blues / folk noir.

Singer, guitarist, songwriter, improviser, artist based in TO.
Non-binary (they/them)

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Track Name: Abandoned Planetarium
meet me at the abandoned planetarium
when night falls we can shed our skins
grey suits, grey towers, grey rats and pigeons
tear the thorn out of my eye
let the colours stream in

meet me at the abandoned planetarium
glittering dome cobwebbed and echoing
orion, delphinus, cancer, phoenix all fading
constellations burn out
I could never find them anyway

meet me at the abandoned planetarium
it's raining softly, a dog barks, the traffic slows
I close my eyes, a churning infrared ocean
riles and laps against the bones of my shapeless ghost
Track Name: A Shore Far From Any Prison
a shore far from any prison
a name that changes with the season
snake glides in and out of its skin
a pack of silver wolves comes down the mountain
in the evening
colours blossom and burn all around them

a light flickers in your breastbone
a changeling wakes up in your bedroom
when knives go dull and music turns scornful
who are you when nobody knows you?

lodestar has vanished from the heavens
lungs and heart and brain toil on in darkness
sound of a theremin, of sirens beckoning
miles under the sea another world is glowing

a light flickers in your breastbone
a changeling wakes up in your bedroom
when knives go dull and music turns scornful
who are you when nobody knows you?
Track Name: Into Singing Flames
swim with me to the rising sun
we'll pick berries by the lake
I wish I were
I wish I were
someone else today

drive with me to the mouth of a cave
we'll feed the echo with our song
I wish I had roots deep in the earth
I wish my mind would dissolve

sunset spun with spider's thread
pathway paved with watermelon seeds
tell me when to take the blindfold off
which part of the story to believe

race with me to the sheer blue cliffs
we'll light a fire as daylight fades
words break down, hearts flounder and drown
embers ascend into singing flames
Track Name: Blackbirds Baked in a Sky Cake
blackbirds baked in a sky cake

rip the crust open see the sun quake
strip the curse naked watch the spine snake
fan into a flame and make your heart ache
fold into a fist and make your bones break
melt into a myth and make your brain twitch
howl into smoke and make your head choke

blackbirds baked in a sky cake

bit off a little crumb because I wanted some
I got a little more than what I bargained for

how long, how long, this pain song?
where has the beautiful day gone?

blackbirds baked in a sky cake
Track Name: It Becomes You To Vanish
look at the night sky
street lamps shaped like jellyfish
billow and sigh
everyone carries unopened umbrellas
taxis float by

you melt in my mind
it becomes you to vanish
as hammers strike the cold clay
you crumble to dust
I blow you away

cold stone
warm life
spaces
between
particles
flesh loom heals seams and spines
centuries, atoms, a radiant shore on fire

you melt in my mind
it becomes you to vanish
as hammers strike the cold clay
you crumble to dust
I blow you away

my home
my name
my Elizabethan collar
my chains
hold me in place
heal my sores
seal my fate

you melt in my mind
it becomes you to vanish
as hammers strike the cold clay
you crumble to dust
I blow you away

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